Sadness

I think I'm going to stop talking about my relationships. It's been a very long time since I have even looked at this thing let alone write on it.
I've moved on from the last asshole, yeah I said asshole. As usual took advantage blah blah blah. It's beyond bad, not as bad as being beaten but still close.
Yeah I'm with someone new and currently I am happy. I get to see how much of a crappy mother I am. He has two kids from a previous marriage. And though they are my world and I love them dearly and would throw myself in front of danger before I would allow anything to happen to them I know that I am as close as I can get with out having that piece of giving birth to them. I want that, I want that with them though that's never possible. But I want more than anything in this world to have a baby.
I just don't feel that I deserve it. I've made so many bad decisions in my life and I'm already almost 30.
I feel that everyone would just be better off if I just wasn't in their lives. Everyone I know I feel like all I do is hurt them by being around. I'm constantly feeling like a failure.

All I want is to be loved.